BFF!!!!!

Once upon a time you went to the playground and shared your bucket and shovel in the sandbox with another little girl. You became best friends. You walked to school together, talked about which boys you hated the most, played Barbies. You were best friends forever. All through high school and college your friends were your life. You went everywhere together. You went out together on Friday nights, talked about the boys you loved and played dress up in your grown up clothes.
Fast forward to adulthood. Where are all the BFF's? I do still have friends from my childhood but only a couple and they live so far away we rarely see one another more than once a decade. Friends that I have now are more like acquaintances rather than the heart and soul, got your back, kind of buddy's. I find that I'm not alone in this. Talking to many women my age I've found that most people don't seem to attach themselves too closely to anyone anymore. The people in our lives are transient. Here for a little while and easily replaced down the road.
Is it a result of modern technology? I know I know, always blaming the texting and social networking evils. How much do we really need to know about anyone other than their daily status on Facebook or a quick text on their lunch break? It doesn't get anymore superficial than that.
Back when my grandmother was young, women stayed at home and raised families. They chatted around the kitchen table and over the back fence. They made strong bonds. Those bond carried on throughout their lives. Women for the most part work outside of the home now. Kids lives are more complex with after school sports and other extra curricular activities. If you're married you need to find time to be with your husband. It doesn't leave a lot of time for hanging out with your girlfriends. I know this because it's been my life for the last two decades.
I often wonder at the sort of friend I am as well. I'm very selfish with my time. I work 40 plus hours a week. I have a business I'm trying to get off the ground. I like to spend my extra time working on projects or with my husband. My children are young adults but I still make time for them. It doesn't leave a lot of spare time to go out with friends.
Over the last month I did make time on a few Friday nights to meet a friend or two after work to have a glass of wine and a chat. I worry that this is as good as it gets. Am I expecting too much? I'm not 20 anymore. I don't need to spend all my waking hours with my friends. I don't need to know every single detail of their complicated lives to like them. An occasional drink and a status update is a good friend indeed.
I can't help but pine at times for that really special friend that you could tell anything to, do special things with, go shopping and gossip. But then I remember that I married my BFF. That is surely the best BFF of all.

Can't Keep A Good Girl Down

Things are picking up again. I may go down but I always come back up kicking. I finally came up with a name for my business. Wildheart. It just came to me as I was getting ready for work. There was no deliberation, no over thinking, trying it out over and over, it just fit. It felt good.
Wildheart means to me many things. It's a reflection of how I create and view life. I may be rather tame overall but I am truly wild at heart. It's also a nod to my very colorful ancestry. My fathers side brings Spanish conquistadors and my mothers side brings Scottish feudal lords and assassins. And through all that history, here I am. With my wild heart ha ha.
I'm working on getting a website up and going. I have an Etsy store opened and a local venue that's interesting in taking my stuff. I have alot of work to do.
Life is good. Ups and downs. It's all good.

Hmmmmmm

Well today I don't really feel much better. Good thing I work or I would never get out of bed this time of year.
I have really been excited about the holidays this year. But as it gets closer I'm starting to come unraveled. Family issues and emotional issues always seem to come to a head around this time.
I always think I'm alone in this but the more people I talk to I realize I'm not so different. My only issue is becoming paralyzed by the emotions that run through me and doing nothing. It's becoming a little more apparent as we speak.
Today I did get out of bed. I wrapped all the presents and arranged them under the tree. I made biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast, marinated pork for dinner. Did laundry and gave the dogs a bath. I also laid on the couch watching a movie, drawing in my sketchbook and drinking beer. All and all it was a good day.
I talked to my husband about these anxieties. That helps. He understands me way more than I give him credit for sometimes.
Life is good. Just need to remember that.

grumble grump grump

Had an odd and busy week. Went to work early, got home late. Suddenly it all caught up with me today. I could not get out of bed for the life of me even to eat (which is so not like me). I spent most of the day back and forth between the couch and the bed with my novel on the life of Queen Elizabeth and my stack of magazines. I did get up long enough to clean the front room and kitchen. I think I just overdid socially this week and my body said "enough"!!!!! You go nowhere this weekend. So here I sit on a Saturday night that was full of plans. Blogging, grumping and waiting for hubby to bring home take out Thai. God bless that man.
I think a bit of holiday anxiety is setting in. I've been doing so well so far this year. The gifts are all bought, the plans are all set. Some family squabbling has made a few ripples. That could be causing this bad feeling in my chest. Ah the holidays.
Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up raring to go again, like my usual self. If not. I still have this book to read and a warm bed to hang out in.

Ho ho hum dee dum dee dum

Ok so I have to brag. For the first time in a couple of years now I'm actually on top of the holidays. I have all my shopping done!!!!! Yes, yes, YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!
I did a bulk of it online but I really scored at the Pacific Arts Holiday Market going on now through December 19th at 119 W. Chestnut here in Bellingham (the old Dream On Futon building). I walked in and was amazed at all the awesome abundance of goodies for sale made by local folk. I had so much fun browsing and chatting. I even got a couple of little gifts for myself (because what's holiday shopping without gifts for oneself).

So if you would like to get finished early and get some wonderful one of a kind gifts under your tree I highly reccommend the a stop at the market.
p.s. Krafthauser, Es Em El and Red Boots are my personal favorites (has nothing to do with the fact that I know them, ha ha).
Peace out shoppers.