As we begin the countdown to mothers day I’ve been thinking a lot about what it really means to be a mom. I don’t just mean someone who gives birth because obviously any female that’s equipped properly can do that. But I’ve been thinking about all the things that do go into being a mother.
You don’t have to give birth to be a real mother. I was adopted by my grandparents when I was six. For the next several years till I left home at 17 they nurtured me, fed me, taught me right from wrong and gave me the values that made me the person I am today. My real mother, although she didn’t raise me, is still a mom because she was always part of my life. She adopted me back several years ago. She became my mom again and my step father became my father. She and my grandmother taught me a lot about selfless giving and how people often hide pain to make others happy. But somehow I did grow up and I found my way in life. I became a happy and content person. I think that makes them both very successful as mothers.
I often question myself as a parent. I’m sure any mom does. I worry because my 16 year old hates me (I have no idea why) and won’t speak to me right now. I worry because my son at 23 still has not figured out what he’s doing with his life. I worry because my 21 year old struggles to keep her head above water in this crazy world. But then I remember what I was like at those ages. I wasn't so different.
My children were raised first and formost with love. I tried to teach them the same morals and values I learned as a child. I comforted them through heartbreaks and illness. I went to countless school plays, band concerts, sports events, and fieldtrips. I protected them ferociously when I felt they were threatened. I learned that sometimes you have to let go so they can grow into who they are. I learned there is really such a thing as the empty nest syndrome. I also learned to not think about so damn much what I did wrong or what I should have done differently.
They are who they are. I am who I am. Through all of it was always one constant.......a mothers love.
My only hope is that they find out the secret to happiness lies within themselves. It’s not within other people, our jobs or our possessions. It's not in seeming perfect to everyone else. It's certainly not in how much money we have.
It’s in the way we think and view the world. If I can teach them that, then I consider myself a successful mom.
